A Lamp

Life hates a smartass. I was a dumbass, as was my last wish. I wanted to be a “GENIE.” What a smart-butt wish it was! So, here I am, doing nothing, lost in time. Do you know an hour crawls, a day walks, a month runs, and a year flies? But I am sitting in this godforsaken dune, unable to catch up with flying time. Man, I hope someone educated will call me. Last time, it was a wrinkled-faced farmer who didn’t know anything about the world. His wishes were simple: "I want rain, I want a young wife, and I want to be young again." He could have wished to be a king and almost got all he wanted, but NO. "It is my wishes, blah, blah…"

Then, the calling came, after a long, long time or a short dream. I emerged with a bang, big and loud. There, in front of me, stood a small child, trying to warm up by rubbing his hands and the lamp. I said, "Hey, hey. Don’t rub any more. I am already here." He replied, "Bu...t I am cold." Following the required procedure for genies, I said, "I am going to read the Terms and Conditions, then you can make three wishes." I don’t know who keeps track of everything. Certainly not me. He didn’t think twice and said, "I agree. I want parents."

"It's in the terms and conditions. I can’t do that."
"Can’t I be adopted by good parents at least?"
"Sure, you can." A star shot in his eyes but died as I said, "But it's not possible. It could not contradict others' wishes."
"Don’t they have a couple who wish to adopt?"
"Sorry, I can't. It's in the rule book."
"Then my wish is to change the rule book so that I can have parents."

Now, I started to hate this wiseass, even though I pitied him. Still, the question had a point. Could I change the rule book? Alas, it was not possible. So, I suggested, "How about I make you a parent?" His eyes widened. "You can?" "As you wish." And I gave him a baby. They looked ridiculous. His eyes watered. His baby cried. "I thought you were going to make me a parent!" "I did make you a parent."

So now, he was cold, and his baby was cold. He tried to keep them both warm. He said, "You are an idiot. Make me rich!" Ungrateful bastard with a bastard child. Okay, I will make you rich. Rich in children. Then, I made his baby triplets. Now, four of them were crying and wailing. It was becoming unbearable with all the noise. I wanted to finish this quickly, so I asked him, as required, "What is your last wish?" "Go to hell." I am already in hell, so I went back to my lamp. Ah, life is hard. I hope, next time, someone wise will call me.